Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
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Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#1I have been weepy all morning. Twenty years ago this afternoon life changed forever. Tori drove away that morning to ride Chantilly, her horse. I remember telling her that I hoped she had fun. A few hours later a knock at the door brought news that Tori was badly hurt and had been transported by ambulance to the nearest hospital. Our daughter Amelia was with her and witnessed the accident. I do not remember the drive to the hospital. I knew I had to be there now, immediately.
Tori used a different bit on Chantilly and it was too much of a change. Chantilly reared and bucked Tori to the ground, landed on her, and then rolled over her as she struggled to her feet. Amelia saw it all. . It was determined that her injuries were too severe for any nearby hospital and Life Flight was dispatched to fly Tori to Oregon Health and Sciences University. The Life Flight team arrived and the two of them plus six other medical staff slowly eased Tori onto the stretcher for the flight to Portland. It took several minutes out of concern that any of myriad bone fragments from her shattered femur and pelvis might nick an artery. Amelia and I followed them outside where it was raining lightly. The night was black, so dark, so damned dark. I stood with my arms around Amelia and eventually the helicopter took off (they delayed a few minutes while they brought Tori back to life) for Portland, Oregon.
While she was in hospital I built an elevated bed downstairs where she would be able to look into our lovely yard when she was awake. Two and a half years later and multiple operations she was still in that bed.
Of course there is so much more to the story; the horrid pain, learning to walk again, so many things. Our life changed drastically. And now twenty years later she came downstairs this glorious morning and said, " I suppose you are going to write something mushy". Tori and I had been together for nine years and now it has been twenty-nine. I hope for several more loving, laughing, happy years. And yes I am still weepy. I expect I will be for awhile longer. Love is a remarkable thing. It feeds every part of a person.
If you know someone who experiences pain, be it temporary or lifelong, please be kind to them. Please. Pain can kill. It almost killed my wife.
Fly fishing. By January of 2003 I felt crazy. I needed something that did not involve pain, hurt, and suffering. I needed something for me. Out of nowhere came the idea to learning about fly fishing. I had not fished in any manner for many years. I bought a graphite five weight rod, a reel and some line, bought some books and off I went. Why I thought of fly fishing is a mystery to me. It was a stroke of goodness from wherever it came. The notion came from some divine place and off I went. At this moment I am looking into the meadow at the place where I first cast that rod. Life changed once again. Now I have rods, bamboo, fiberglass, and graphite and so many reels. Medicine. A few months later I decided to tie flies. Helen Shaw became a physician of sorts. I wish I could have thanked her in person. I bought a Danvise and tons of necessaries. All of this was exactly what I needed because healing my sore heart and spirit were vital. Eventually I gave that rod , reel and line to a young man in need. He sent me photos of a fish he caught. The Danvise I gave to a little girl who wanted to tie flies. Her father had no money for this and I included lots of goodies with the vise. She sent me some flies and a photograph of her tying. I still have them.
One never know how and when normal changes. One never knows that the old normal might be in the distant past, say twenty years ago.
Tori used a different bit on Chantilly and it was too much of a change. Chantilly reared and bucked Tori to the ground, landed on her, and then rolled over her as she struggled to her feet. Amelia saw it all. . It was determined that her injuries were too severe for any nearby hospital and Life Flight was dispatched to fly Tori to Oregon Health and Sciences University. The Life Flight team arrived and the two of them plus six other medical staff slowly eased Tori onto the stretcher for the flight to Portland. It took several minutes out of concern that any of myriad bone fragments from her shattered femur and pelvis might nick an artery. Amelia and I followed them outside where it was raining lightly. The night was black, so dark, so damned dark. I stood with my arms around Amelia and eventually the helicopter took off (they delayed a few minutes while they brought Tori back to life) for Portland, Oregon.
While she was in hospital I built an elevated bed downstairs where she would be able to look into our lovely yard when she was awake. Two and a half years later and multiple operations she was still in that bed.
Of course there is so much more to the story; the horrid pain, learning to walk again, so many things. Our life changed drastically. And now twenty years later she came downstairs this glorious morning and said, " I suppose you are going to write something mushy". Tori and I had been together for nine years and now it has been twenty-nine. I hope for several more loving, laughing, happy years. And yes I am still weepy. I expect I will be for awhile longer. Love is a remarkable thing. It feeds every part of a person.
If you know someone who experiences pain, be it temporary or lifelong, please be kind to them. Please. Pain can kill. It almost killed my wife.
Fly fishing. By January of 2003 I felt crazy. I needed something that did not involve pain, hurt, and suffering. I needed something for me. Out of nowhere came the idea to learning about fly fishing. I had not fished in any manner for many years. I bought a graphite five weight rod, a reel and some line, bought some books and off I went. Why I thought of fly fishing is a mystery to me. It was a stroke of goodness from wherever it came. The notion came from some divine place and off I went. At this moment I am looking into the meadow at the place where I first cast that rod. Life changed once again. Now I have rods, bamboo, fiberglass, and graphite and so many reels. Medicine. A few months later I decided to tie flies. Helen Shaw became a physician of sorts. I wish I could have thanked her in person. I bought a Danvise and tons of necessaries. All of this was exactly what I needed because healing my sore heart and spirit were vital. Eventually I gave that rod , reel and line to a young man in need. He sent me photos of a fish he caught. The Danvise I gave to a little girl who wanted to tie flies. Her father had no money for this and I included lots of goodies with the vise. She sent me some flies and a photograph of her tying. I still have them.
One never know how and when normal changes. One never knows that the old normal might be in the distant past, say twenty years ago.
- Brian K. Shaffer
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Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#2Certainly made me stop and think about my current normal.
Sure does make me want to meet that kid to give a rod too.
Good to see ya Rock!
Sure does make me want to meet that kid to give a rod too.
Good to see ya Rock!
" There's no such thing as a fly fisherman wholly satisfied with his casting performance. " ~ Jim Green (1971)
" Just once I wish a trout would wink at me. " ~ Brian Shaffer
Step up to the plate with any lumber you want.
" Just once I wish a trout would wink at me. " ~ Brian Shaffer
Step up to the plate with any lumber you want.
- canerodscom
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Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#3Blessings on you and Tori
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- prairieschooner
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Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#4Honest feelings well expressed; thanks. The love of my life lives with pain every day; I don't know how she does it but she's much stronger than I. Your statement about pain is true. Best wishes to you and Tori.
I spent most of my money on shotguns, fly rods, guitars and banjos. The rest I just wasted. (Apologies to W.C. Fields)
Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#5Thank you for sharing this!
We all get bogged down in so much that is unreal or unimportant.
Your story brought me back to what is real and what matters.
We all get bogged down in so much that is unreal or unimportant.
Your story brought me back to what is real and what matters.
Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#6"Your story brought me back to what is real and what matters." Yes, sir.
Gary
Gary
Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#8Yes, your life can--through no fault of your own--suddenly go off the rails. I don't care to tell my story of it. But I hear you loud and clear, despite its delivery via a posting. I also live with chronic pain--pain that can keep me off the rivers, struggling not to fall into pain-pill reliance, and can turn me into a cranky bastard my wife can barely tolerate. Life remains good, however. But it's something I have to work at appreciating.
- oldschoolcane
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Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#9All the best to you and your family. Enjoy each day, every day is a precious gift.
Last edited by oldschoolcane on 04/22/21 09:22, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#11That was a powerful story - you got my attention!
"(they delayed a few minutes while they brought Tori back to life)". WOW!
Fly fishing is absolutely a healer and sharing it helps others more than they may know.
I'm glad you're finding peace.
Thank you for sharing the story - that helps others too
God Bless
"(they delayed a few minutes while they brought Tori back to life)". WOW!
Fly fishing is absolutely a healer and sharing it helps others more than they may know.
I'm glad you're finding peace.
Thank you for sharing the story - that helps others too
God Bless
- munsey w
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Re: Twenty years ago today: pain, healing, fly fishing
#12Very well written! So happy that things have made a turn for the better.