Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

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flyfishingpastor
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Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#1

Post by flyfishingpastor »

Okay. So. I have been hanging around with some interesting characters since I've undertaken our beloved sport, and I've seen some pretty incredible things, but today MIGHT have been the pinnacle of MY "Dumbest Things EVER" list - according to my wife. In a long, detailed, point-by-point narrative. Here's the skinny.

Last fall some kind soul said something to the effect that one of the main ingredients for the original Tup's dubbing is urine-yellowed wool taken from a ram's scrotum. Really. I'm not making this up. Anyway, someone from this forum found a place that even sells it. Really. I'm not making this up. By the time I had read that, I had already checked online for such a thing from quite a few sheep farms. Not a few didn't respond to my queries. Several said: "Really? Urine-yellowed wool from a ram's scrotum? People BUY that?" A couple suggested mental illness (on my part - I had to agree). A couple said, "Yep. We DO sell that. Fly tyer, right?" BINGO! Game on!

So, last October, I made the purchase and received a baggy of the stuff. Let me be clear: a couple of farms will SELL it to you - NONE will clean it for you. None. Now I know why. So, I opened this baggy, last October, and got a whiff of this nasty, bedraggled, full of crap/urine/hay and other, undetermined flotsam and immediately closed 'er back up. "HELL NO!" I said to myself. So, for some reason only known to NOT ME - this morning I said to myself: "Why not?"

I KNOW better than to listen to me, but no, I went for it. Really. I'm not making this up.

My wife had to run some errands this morning and I decided today was the day. What could it hurt? I dug it out and followed the cleaning instructions to the letter. I heated water to the boiling point/with Dawn dish detergent in an OLD pot (the only thing that saved my 35 year marriage!) and opened the bag up and dumped her into the water which was laced with Dawn dish-washing soap. IMMEDIATELY my kitchen/entire house was filled with an aroma that resembled nothing so much as a sheep shed - on a hot day.

My life passed before my eyes!

And, then I heard my wife pull into the drive way. I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ 9 separate times before she came into the house!

She opened the door and, ex-Navy Commander that my love-dumpling is, said, in a VERY commander-like voice: "What in the name of heaven has died in MY house!" (So, on the good side; I get to see Jesus sooner than I had planned because: Uh-oh! I'm a GONER!)

She came into HER house, frowning, and asked me what I was cooking! Now, friends, I was really insulted (I am a trained chef - though from long ago)! I said, I wasn't cooking anything! But, before I could stop her, she leaned over the pot and took in a healthy whiff and said, "What is this crap?" And, I said, "Only partly... The rest is urine-soaked wool!"

Apparently, my wife has some trouble with hearing the truth because my bride of 35 years is still not talking to me. HER house still smells like sheep-fold - and we have company coming shortly - which, in my defense, I DID NOT KNOW about in advance. BUT, what the heck, I LIKE the quiet, and after 3 washings/soakings in hot water, I have about 2 or 3 batches worth of the urine-soaked wool from a Ram's testicles that is a beautiful, subdued yellow. As I tried to tell my wife, it was for US. No dice. Then I admitted that this was probably the dumbest thing I had done to date and she said: "Until the next time." When she's right, dang it, she's RIGHT!

I tell ya, friends; this fly fishing stuff just MIGHT be the death of me. It damned near WAS today! REALLY! I'm not making this up! :)

Be well.

Pat

sisyphusmpn
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#2

Post by sisyphusmpn »

That story was so flippin' funny I practically wet myself. Actually, come to think of it, I DID wet myself. Which brings me to my offer: I have a pair of urine-stained underpants that can be cut into strips and make an excellent dubbing. I'm not making this up. Send me your address and I'll send them along. They will make a nice accompaniment to your ram scrotum.

Great story!! Tell the commander it was worth it as you've made a lot of anglers giggle...

searun
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#3

Post by searun »

...priceless!

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gt05254
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#4

Post by gt05254 »

Pat, in all the years I've been the guy my friends pointed to when explaining to their wife that they weren't so bad, they could be married to me, I've never even come close to that one.
Thank you for the hearty chuckle!

P.S. I always tell people I never dye in the kitchen, because if I did, I would die in the kitchen.

Gary

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quashnet
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#5

Post by quashnet »

I'm not sure that the Lord is big on divination, but I sense an Eleventh Commandment is in your near future.

joaniebo
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#6

Post by joaniebo »

Pat

Wouldn't it have been easier to just call me and I'd send you another bag ofbthe Tup's dubbing?

BHBoobie

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Buck Henry
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#7

Post by Buck Henry »

I think i was that guy that tracked down the farm for some of "that wool" and posted about it here a few years back. Glad to hear that I am not the only one that has experienced the amazing aroma when that hot water hits that wool!

PS: the good news is I am still working my way through that first batch. A little goes a long way when blending up your Tups.

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gmflyfish
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#8

Post by gmflyfish »

I guess I have been fortunate as my wife was a fly tyer, hair dresser, and all around great person to be with on the stream. I did by my own stuff (pyrex dishes) for bleaching and dyeing materials. Her knowledge of hair coloring was a plus when I was trying to figure our how to color elk hair. Also having access to some 45% peroxide made bleaching a whole lot easier and less time consuming.

The smelliest I ever got the house was when we decided to skin and treat a deer hide in the basement. Never again.

Thanks for sharing Pat - I guess the commander did have some thing to say. Are you looking for unine bleached vixen fox fur yet?


Gregg

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Flykuni3
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#9

Post by Flykuni3 »

Dah! Could be Best Fly-tying Goofy Story Ever.

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tonkin67
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#10

Post by tonkin67 »

I'm at a loss for words. :rollin
Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see . Marvin Gaye

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Seabowisha Salmo T
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#11

Post by Seabowisha Salmo T »

pat, sky pilot,

it would not be possible for you to be makeing this story up!!!

in HER kitchen???

you are lucky to be still alive!!!

best regards and keep praying!

jim w

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middlecalf
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#12

Post by middlecalf »

Any goats at the windows yet? That's the next event. There's a reason the rams piss all over themselves.
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jbird
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#13

Post by jbird »

That's a peach of story Pat. Made my eyes glass over from laughter! I remember finding a dead coral head on the beach and I decided to boil it to try to bleach it for my aquarium... yeah... in the kitchen!

OK, I got one. You did ask Whats the dumbest thing you've done. Well I cant say it was dumb but you decide ;)...
I showed up at my favorite steelhead hole one day, in fact, I was such a regular at this spot it is still known to this day as "Jbirds Office" :):) When I stepped out of my truck I was met with a stench that slapped me like a WWF woMAN. I got my waders on and when I got to the river, I could see on the far bank there was some kind of flood event and brown water was coming out of a field and pouring into the river in a 100 yard long wave. Just up the embankment stands the cities sewage treatment plant. There was a crowd gathering in the parking lot of spectators watching, wincing, and wrinkling their nose from the stench of this spill. And then there was me, in my waders with flyrod in hand :)
I reluctantly headed down stream to my office hearing excerpts from spectators like, "Is he gonna wade in there?"

Well the river is wide and when I got to my spot, the river was split in half... brown on the far side and a nice "steelhead green" on my side. I carefully began working the green water. Well the fish were in and they were aggressive! I began catching fish and as they rocketed out into the current, I would put the wood to em to keep them outa the poo. LOL I lost a couple doing this, but I landed 6 in the end. They were stacked in there like cord wood! After a few I didn't give a rip if they went into that "other" water. I was havin too much fun. this entire time I was fighting hard not to vomit from the odor.

I got home and decontaminated in the shower for 30 minutes. A real silkwood type scrubdown. I watched and read every news report I could to try to find a report on what exactly I encountered. Finally, on the back page of the paper, there it was. A backhoe doing some work ruptured the main water artery coming from the local water tower. The water tower drained out completely, the vacuum crushing it like a beer can. And all that water washed thru a prominent cattle ranch and swept all that stinky cow soil into the river. Boy was I relieved. I don't mind cow crap at all... but that people poo... ewww.
The buddy I told that day still insists I fish in poo :):)
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Hellmtflies
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#14

Post by Hellmtflies »

Excellent Pat. Now that's a guys story and I understand completely with the use of the pot etc. Thanx for sharing.
I once shot a Red Fox for the same thing. Urine Burned Red Fox Fur for one of the Classic Catskill patterns that the name of escapes me now. I shot the bugger and didn't have time to gut and skin the bugger that late afternoon. So I simply folded it up and stuck it in the freezer to be taken care of later. Well, I forgot to tell my wife about the dead animal in the deep freeze and only remembered it upon the screech that emitted from the kitchen later that night. :) Only I was speaking to me for some time after. :) Gotta love the "Dog House".

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Dean D
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#15

Post by Dean D »

Well, I'm feeling a lot better about some of my exploits, now! For your sake, Pat, I hope you catch a huge number of fish with the flies you tie up with the wool. In hindsight, it might have been wiser to just tie up a few Pink Squirrels.

By the bye, what did the guests have to say about the aromatic ambience of your house?

Dean D
"I used to be clueless, but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees."

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DrLogik
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#16

Post by DrLogik »

Dude,

The first line in the instructions SHOULD have stated, "DO THIS OUTDOORS!".

I'm still laughing......... :rollin

What we go through for this sport when we get to this (QUOTE) "level" is truly scintillatingly entertaining!! ROFLMAO!!

carlz
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#17

Post by carlz »

I can't say that I did it for my sport, but poking the bloated elk with a long stick was probably not the smartest thing I've done.

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cdmoore
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#18

Post by cdmoore »

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Last edited by cdmoore on 09/04/15 09:17, edited 1 time in total.

Silver rat
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#19

Post by Silver rat »

Pat, is your last name McManus?

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Marty
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Re: Whats the DUMBEST thing you've done for your sport?

#20

Post by Marty »

I have a new appreciation for the friend that shared some of the cleaned stuff a couple years back laughed almost to the point of incontinence....
Marty's Rules of Fishing #7. Fishing only with store bought flies is like trying to talk to a pretty girl through an interpreter it works sort of …it will work far better if you learn the language and tie your own flies…more satisfying and more effective.

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